Writing with Anxiety, Away for to Long
Well Hello there stranger, thought I dropped off the face of the earth didn't you, well I did sort of. For starters, I needed some time dealing with my personal life and my mental health. My social anxiety had gotten a bit out of control so I needed to get a handle on it before moving forward. But now I am working to push myself through the darkness and get back to my passion for writing and blogging. So with that said let's get back to the fun.
When someone has severe social anxiety it can leave you avoiding everything especially the need to become a successful Author, by not wanting to do social media, attend book conferences or meeting new people even. When this happens to me I tend to want to cocoon myself, hideout under the covers, eat large amounts of chocolate, just be alone with my thoughts to give myself time to regain my confidence. This is what has happened to me in the last few months. The overwhelming urge to hide came as my original book launch date loomed ever closer. The intense fear and uncertainty took over and sent me into a major shut down period.
It's only now that I find the urge to write again, thankfully in time for PrepTober to prepare for this years NANOWRIMO. I reset my goals for finishing the book for sometime next year with no real date in mind. It will be done when I have cut it apart, rewritten it over and over again until I have transformed it into my masterpiece. So NO pressure.
I have used this time off as a way to fully figure out how I want the next series of "DEADLY" books to work out. I did research from the comfort of my office (in my favorite pajamas of course), rough outlined the entire 3 part series and discovered I am really happy with what I have come up with for the overall premise, and tying them all together. It's exciting to see the whole thing transform in front of my eyes from what was a small idea to have a strong plot line, complex twists, and turns more interesting character arcs. Finding out more about each character than I ever thought possible.
So maybe I needed this downtime, to explore these characters to find my voice, to purge all the stories inside my head. Maybe that's what the anxiety was trying to tell me in a pretty off-handed way. Who cares if I missed the book launch date this time, nothing tragic is going to happen to me because of it. Yes, I have to rethink my goals with much more reasonable time frames but that's a lesson learned. I need to give myself more time to complete a book than say Kristen Martin (YouTube, author of Alpha Drive series) does, so what. I don't write like she does and she doesn't write like me, and you know what that's ok.
So take it from me, if you are facing a goal that you know you can't possibly make then cut yourself some slack and change it to accommodate you. No one is looking, and if they are their obviously to close, and maybe you need a restraining order.
I'll be back soon. I promise!